All I Did Was Blink

Being 39: Where I've been, Where I am, and Where I'm going…

Memory Mine: BFFs, Birthdays and Facebook February 14, 2011

Filed under: Life — itsahappyblog @ 5:24 pm
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BFF. Best Friends Forever.

The phrase conjures up a picture in my mind of two little girls strolling through a garden, picking flowers and sharing one another’s dreams about the future.

I imagine they have been, well, friends for as long as they can remember. They probably grew up together in the same small town or in the same neighborhood, school or church. Their parents were friends or friendly. They shared toys, clothes, music, study notes, (never boyfriends!), and secrets.

Sometimes they would lose touch.

My bestie (did I just use that word?) and I went through this for the first time when we were 12. My family moved out of state. We wrote to one another. We called. I would visit when I could over the years.

“Were we ever that young?” Once upon a time, we were inseparable. Birthday parties in two feet of snow (hers) or in the heat of summer in the McDonalds play area (mine). Church camp and Wildwood, NJ vacations! Grade school graduations. Letters at college. Weddings. Funerals.

“K …happy birthday to my very bestest friend in the whole world!…Tell me all about your plans in the future…M” (Excerpt from a letter from my BFF on my 19th birthday. I came across it during my excavation, what a fun read!)

But the frequency of letters and calls would dwindle and before we knew it a big enough chunk of time had passed to mean we had missed some major moments in each of our lives. Catching up would be bittersweet. We would make promises to do better about keeping in touch. We would not keep those promises. Time would pass and somehow we would be catching up again, making the same promises.

I am the first to tell you that I am the worst at picking up the phone to call – anyone. I used to write chapter sized letters which eventually I began to type, then changed to emails. Now I have to make a concerted effort to get a Facebook post out to someone when they come to mind, something I am working very hard on correcting this year.

But, ah, Facebook! Reconnecting with people from as far back as toddler days is such a hoot! And seeing photos of then and now really makes you feel like you are right there in the mix of what is going on from day to day.

I am writing this on my very first BFF’s (shhh…39th) birthday, 2/11. We haven’t lived in the same city since 1984. We don’t talk on the phone – ever. We have been getting re-acquainted some through private messages on Facebook. I am planning a trip east soon and can hardly wait to see those adorable little munchkins who look so much like mommy did at their age!

BFFs don’t have to be in each other’s lives 24/7. The bond we share from all the way back then (I know, we are so old) is a strong one. We don’t know the other’s favorite…anything…anymore. But when we get into the same room it will be as though not a moment has passed. We will be laughing about times we have shared, learning about our lives as they are now, and doing a little dreaming about the future.

Happy Birthday, dear friend. You will always hold the title of My First Ever BFF!!


Let the UPS help with the DOWNS September 29, 2010

Filed under: Life — itsahappyblog @ 5:36 pm
Tags: , , , , ,
How Do You Feel Today?

Image by Kevin Labianco via Flickr

OK. So I was just writing a message to my brother on Facebook. Life can be such a rocky road, and I don’t mean the ice cream variety either!! I hope that I am an encouragement to the people who drift in and out of my life, be it in a brief one time encounter or the nearly 24/7 I spend with my amazing husband. I know how much a smile or kind word can lift my spirits and spur me on and I wish to be that person as opposed to the ‘miseries who love company’ so much that they can throw a bucket of ice on my warm fuzzies and ruin a perfectly good mood.

Truth be told, I am not always the cheerleader that I strive to be…no one can be that person all of the time! Impossible. Unless you stuff everything negative that happens in your life and then what kind of real life are you having?! On the other hand, who wants to be around mr/ms grumpy pants constantly either. I would almost rather the former on some days.

Back to my point. I was typing away and towards the end of my ramblings this phrase just appeared on my screen. Let the Ups  help with the Downs. Hmm.

  • If I could somehow manage to look at the amazing meal my gifted and talented husband prepared for us instead of the mountain of crusty dishes left in his dust…
  • If I would see my room of randomly packed boxes from my 39 years of life as a treasure hunt instead of a dreaded chore to (seemingly NEVER) complete…
  • If I were to relish in the undivided time my spouse and I are privileged enough to have right now in our marriage instead of mourning the child never born to our family…
  • If time were not my enemy robbing me of my, well, time – but my teacher gifting me with knowledge and wisdom…

You get the idea. This list is endless. This list is POWERFUL and NEEDED in my every moment. Yes, we mourn and we struggle and we are punched in the gut and steamrolled and on and on.and.on.

BUT. What IF.

Tell me some of your UPS that help you with your DOWNS. I would love to hear from you…leave a comment below and lets share some warm fuzzies.


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