BFF. Best Friends Forever.
The phrase conjures up a picture in my mind of two little girls strolling through a garden, picking flowers and sharing one another’s dreams about the future.
I imagine they have been, well, friends for as long as they can remember. They probably grew up together in the same small town or in the same neighborhood, school or church. Their parents were friends or friendly. They shared toys, clothes, music, study notes, (never boyfriends!), and secrets.
Sometimes they would lose touch.
My bestie (did I just use that word?) and I went through this for the first time when we were 12. My family moved out of state. We wrote to one another. We called. I would visit when I could over the years.
“Were we ever that young?” Once upon a time, we were inseparable. Birthday parties in two feet of snow (hers) or in the heat of summer in the McDonalds play area (mine). Church camp and Wildwood, NJ vacations! Grade school graduations. Letters at college. Weddings. Funerals.
“K …happy birthday to my very bestest friend in the whole world!…Tell me all about your plans in the future…M” (Excerpt from a letter from my BFF on my 19th birthday. I came across it during my excavation, what a fun read!)
But the frequency of letters and calls would dwindle and before we knew it a big enough chunk of time had passed to mean we had missed some major moments in each of our lives. Catching up would be bittersweet. We would make promises to do better about keeping in touch. We would not keep those promises. Time would pass and somehow we would be catching up again, making the same promises.
I am the first to tell you that I am the worst at picking up the phone to call – anyone. I used to write chapter sized letters which eventually I began to type, then changed to emails. Now I have to make a concerted effort to get a Facebook post out to someone when they come to mind, something I am working very hard on correcting this year.
But, ah, Facebook! Reconnecting with people from as far back as toddler days is such a hoot! And seeing photos of then and now really makes you feel like you are right there in the mix of what is going on from day to day.
I am writing this on my very first BFF’s (shhh…39th) birthday, 2/11. We haven’t lived in the same city since 1984. We don’t talk on the phone – ever. We have been getting re-acquainted some through private messages on Facebook. I am planning a trip east soon and can hardly wait to see those adorable little munchkins who look so much like mommy did at their age!
BFFs don’t have to be in each other’s lives 24/7. The bond we share from all the way back then (I know, we are so old) is a strong one. We don’t know the other’s favorite…anything…anymore. But when we get into the same room it will be as though not a moment has passed. We will be laughing about times we have shared, learning about our lives as they are now, and doing a little dreaming about the future.
Happy Birthday, dear friend. You will always hold the title of My First Ever BFF!!