All I Did Was Blink

Being 39: Where I've been, Where I am, and Where I'm going…

Memory Mine: BFFs, Birthdays and Facebook February 14, 2011

Filed under: Life — itsahappyblog @ 5:24 pm
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BFF. Best Friends Forever.

The phrase conjures up a picture in my mind of two little girls strolling through a garden, picking flowers and sharing one another’s dreams about the future.

I imagine they have been, well, friends for as long as they can remember. They probably grew up together in the same small town or in the same neighborhood, school or church. Their parents were friends or friendly. They shared toys, clothes, music, study notes, (never boyfriends!), and secrets.

Sometimes they would lose touch.

My bestie (did I just use that word?) and I went through this for the first time when we were 12. My family moved out of state. We wrote to one another. We called. I would visit when I could over the years.

“Were we ever that young?” Once upon a time, we were inseparable. Birthday parties in two feet of snow (hers) or in the heat of summer in the McDonalds play area (mine). Church camp and Wildwood, NJ vacations! Grade school graduations. Letters at college. Weddings. Funerals.

“K …happy birthday to my very bestest friend in the whole world!…Tell me all about your plans in the future…M” (Excerpt from a letter from my BFF on my 19th birthday. I came across it during my excavation, what a fun read!)

But the frequency of letters and calls would dwindle and before we knew it a big enough chunk of time had passed to mean we had missed some major moments in each of our lives. Catching up would be bittersweet. We would make promises to do better about keeping in touch. We would not keep those promises. Time would pass and somehow we would be catching up again, making the same promises.

I am the first to tell you that I am the worst at picking up the phone to call – anyone. I used to write chapter sized letters which eventually I began to type, then changed to emails. Now I have to make a concerted effort to get a Facebook post out to someone when they come to mind, something I am working very hard on correcting this year.

But, ah, Facebook! Reconnecting with people from as far back as toddler days is such a hoot! And seeing photos of then and now really makes you feel like you are right there in the mix of what is going on from day to day.

I am writing this on my very first BFF’s (shhh…39th) birthday, 2/11. We haven’t lived in the same city since 1984. We don’t talk on the phone – ever. We have been getting re-acquainted some through private messages on Facebook. I am planning a trip east soon and can hardly wait to see those adorable little munchkins who look so much like mommy did at their age!

BFFs don’t have to be in each other’s lives 24/7. The bond we share from all the way back then (I know, we are so old) is a strong one. We don’t know the other’s favorite…anything…anymore. But when we get into the same room it will be as though not a moment has passed. We will be laughing about times we have shared, learning about our lives as they are now, and doing a little dreaming about the future.

Happy Birthday, dear friend. You will always hold the title of My First Ever BFF!!

 

It’s My Birthday And I’ll Blog If I Want To! September 7, 2010

Filed under: Life — itsahappyblog @ 6:00 pm
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Today I turn 39!

That’s right. I said it. And I mean it! Not 39 again…not forever 39. Actually and really and truly – 39.

Aaahhhhhhh!!!! How did this happen??

OK. Now that I’ve gotten that out of my system, let’s talk about…me…turning 39!

I have written and re-written this first blog entry probably at least 39 times and I keep revising and revisiting every sentence and paragraph. So, I’ve thrown all of those drafts away and I am free-falling through this initial post because, really, what do I know about blogging anyway?

Over the last couple of weeks I have visited the freshly pressed page and explored some wonderful sites for inspiration and encouragement. I have found an amazing new community in which to ramble on about all that I love in life…travel, food, friends, family, books, games – you name it!

My blog is going to be about…

wait for it…

ME – turning 39!!!!!

Who is this woman looking back at me in the mirror every day? What has she done with the girl I once was? Do I like the way she behaves? Do I want to continue on her path? Is she the best me that I can be??

Answers: she IS me, she has buried deep in her memory most of who I was as a girl, I do not like everything she does, I want to continue on her path but I also want to help her to MOVE ON from some of who she has become…she is NOT my best me.

Honestly, she will never be my best me. I am incapable of perfection.

I need to repeat that (strictly for my own benefit). I am incapable of perfection!! The fact that I have not allowed myself to live in the truth of that statement has gone a long way in getting me to the place I am today. I am a perfectionist. I am a procrastinator. Throw in a little OCD (no comments from the peanut gallery). I am too much of this and not enough of that and I drive myself crazy trying to navigate my way through all the noise in my head.

So, starting today and for the next year I intend to investigate my life. I want to see me for me. I want to see where I have been, where I am now, and where I am going. I am not planning to just observe (I’ve done enough of that over the years). I intend to be proactive. I intend for this blog to be interactive (this means YOU). And I intend to have the loudest, craziest, funnest (can I use that as a word? please??) time doing it!

I was about to say wish me luck.

Forget that, wish me endurance, honesty, persistence. Wish me a happy blog! Together we can work on the healthy future!!

Today I turn 39!   Bring It On!!

 

 
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